(2-minute read)
A couple summers ago, Malky, a 9-year-old student of mine kept losing her stuff. One day it was the towel and bathing suit, the next day it was the crocs, and the next day, nothing came home. How did we teach her to be responsible?
There were several things we implemented simultaneously.
- Mom used to run after Malky to remind her to take her water bottle and snacks to camp. I suggested that this stop instantly! It was Malky’s responsibility to remember to pack her drink and snacks, and if she left them at home, mom was NOT going to drive to camp to give her the stuff, even if Malky called and wailed and cried on the phone. Of course, mom would feel really sorry for Malky and validate her compassionately by saying, “It’s so sad that you left your stuff at home. It’s terrible that you might be thirsty and hungry all day. That’s awful. And I hope you’ll remember to take your stuff tomorrow.”
- We made a mini visual schedule of the things Malky needed to take to camp. It included a picture of her bathing suit, bathrobe, crocs, bathing cap, socks, etc. Malky practiced packing her swim bag IN THE EVENING, not in the morning. She did this practice daily until it became easy for her to look at the list and pack her stuff INDEPENDENTLY – without any prompting from mom. She got points and rewards for practicing.
- We made a visual packing list of all the items Malky needed to pack up AFTER swimming, laminated it, and attached it to her swim bag with a binder ring clip. Malky did a “positive practice” in which she pretended to go swimming, got out of the pool, was about to leave the pool area but then said, “Oops! I have to take my stuff. Let me look at the list and pack myself up.”
- I should mention that for the second and third strategy above, I first did a little skit in which I pretended to be Malky and practiced packing my stuff both FOR camp and for AFTER SWIMMING. I modeled the reds and greens in a dramatic way so that Malky would remember my funny skit. Children learn best when information is presented in a Visual, Auditory, and Kinesthetic-Tactile (VAKT) way. My modeling included these four learning styles, which helped her learn it quicker.
- Malky got rewarded for doing the green of “being responsible with my stuff” and not doing the red of “losing my stuff.” She wanted a certain water canteen that other kids had, so she earned points daily for preparing her stuff and bringing everything home.
- Mom stopped buying new items if she lost something. She had to go back to camp and search for it until she found it. Or, she had to use her own saved-up money to replace the items she lost. Malky didn’t want to waste her own money so she became very careful with her belongings.
Enjoy the sunshine!
Dr. Devora
Not sure how to implement these strategies?
Watch these trainings that will give you ideas how to implement the above suggestions… and much much more!