(1-minute read)
Why Do Some Kids Experience
More Intense Anxiety Than Others?
A parent recently asked me, Why does my son’s anxiety feel so overwhelming compared to other kids? It’s a great question—anxiety looks different for every child, but some experience it far more intensely than others.
I recently came across a simple formula that helps explain why.
Anxiety Formula:
(Threat Likelihood × Threat Severity) + Physiology ÷ Coping = Anxiety Intensity
If math equations make you anxious, don’t worry—I’ll break it down for you.
Let’s say a child is afraid of being judged by a classmate at school. That fear becomes the threat.
- If the child believes judgment is very likely, that increases the threat likelihood.
- If they think being judged would feel absolutely terrible, that raises the threat severity.
- Their physiology—how their body reacts—also plays a role. Feeling jittery, shaky, nauseous, or sweaty can make anxiety feel even worse.
- Coping is the child’s belief in their ability to handle the situation. If they feel unprepared or helpless, their anxiety will be much higher.
Now, let’s put it all together:
If a child is certain they’ll be judged, believes it will be devastating, feels physical anxiety symptoms, and thinks they have no way to cope, their anxiety will be overwhelming.
On the other hand, if a child thinks judgment is unlikely, wouldn’t be a big deal even if it happened, isn’t feeling any strong physical reactions, and trusts their ability to handle it, their anxiety will be much lower.
This formula can help us understand why some kids struggle more with anxiety—and how we can support them by working on their perceptions, coping skills, and self-regulation strategies.
Stay tuned for more info and strategies on this topic!
Have a wonderful week!