(1.5 minute read)
“I’m Bored!” — Why Your Suggestions Make It Worse (And What to Do Instead)
Summer is meant to be a time to relax, recharge, and enjoy. But with all that downtime… comes the inevitable complaint:
“I’m bored!”
Actually, a mom came to our session this week, frustrated that her daughter kept complaining she was bored.
So naturally, she tried to help and this is what she said:
???? “How about playing with that brand-new $480 LEGO set I bought you?”
???? “Go ride your shiny new pink bike—there are lots of kids outside!”
???? “You just got that 120-piece art kit you begged for. Go use it now—it’s the perfect time!”
But instead of appreciation, her child only whined louder.
In fact, every helpful suggestion seemed to make her madder.
Why does this happen?
Because the issue usually isn’t a lack of things to do.
Often, a child is frustrated because they wanted something else—
???? To visit a friend an hour away
???? To go somewhere you said “no” to
???? Or to buy ice cream for the 6th time this week
Their boredom becomes a way to nag, to wear you down—hoping you’ll cave in.
(And let’s be honest—sometimes, it works.)
So What Should You Do Instead?
Unless your child is 2 or 3 years old (in which case, they need your hands-on attention—just sit down and play), children 4-5 and up are increasingly more capable of solving their own boredom and learning to tolerate the distress of hearing a “no,” aka Distress Tolerance.
Instead of offering suggestions, put the ball in their court by asking thoughtful questions:
????️ Say:
“Hmmm… you’re bored.
• What are you gonna do about it?
• What do you wanna do about it?
• What do you think you can do?
• What do you wanna do?
These kinds of questions encourage:
✅ Independence
✅ Distress Tolerance
✅ Problem-solving
✅ Creative thinking
✅ Emotional resilience
And most importantly—they reinforce that when you say “no,” you mean it.
Whining and nagging will not change your answer.
Boredom isn’t a crisis. It’s an opportunity to be creative.
And helping your child learn how to handle it?
That’s a real accomplishment. ☀️